A Good Life

Today is October 30, 2011. It was a beautiful Fall day here! The sun was warm and the air was breezy and cool. A day that makes you want to be outside, I mean really want to be.

I am not sure I know where to start it has been I think about a month since the last post. Much, much to long and there are no excuses.

Everyone is still living at home let me say that first. I feel like I have stepped back in time and raising three more little ones again. Not sure how it happened, however it has right down to the teacher conferences. These are the cup cakes I made for the Fall Festival at their school. Their grades have came up and they are happy children. We went to the library three weeks ago and got every body their own library cards. My kids loved to go to the library once a week. So now we go once a week either on Saturday or on Tuesday. They love it and are reading! This thrills me being a home school mom! They actually come off of those damn games and read!

I have noticed that since the weather has chilled out, hehehe, that they go outside and play old games after dinner. Hide and seek, throwing a frisbee, throwing a football or baseball back and forth. My heart just soars when they are out in the yard having fun!

I guess that I am just a little disappointed in my daughter and her husband. Neither one of them seem to interact with the kids. They don't get up with them in the morning to get them ready for school or take them, I do. They don't even cook or do their laundry. But that's okay, they give me truly a reason to get this butt out of bed in the morning and they are so grateful what I do for them.

Any way I had to have a CT PET Scan a few weeks ago and I am still cancer free! Whoot! Doing the happy dance I was! Don't get me wrong, to be honest with you, I don't really think about cancer until the week of a scan. Then out of the blue I start to think about it and what if. Do I have bad days, of course I do. Shoot, there was one night that I cried myself to sleep and honestly I don't know why. My ear still has fluid behind it but I will or George will be calling his office in a few days because my 90 day wait will be up for him to do something about it, "I like to wait three months before I do anything.". Well I almost lost my mind from not being able to hear right and that water in your ear feeling, but my wait if almost over!

My hair has started to grow back on the back of my head from where they nuked it and my arm doesn't look like a ham hawk. It is filling out nicely, almost looks the same size as my left one. I will have to take a picture of it and share. My stoma has healed, but I still have so many questions that are unanswered. I have been trying to teach myself esophageal speech, it's going okay, not as fast as I had hoped. The voice prosthesis really bothers me, not just the fact that it requires surgery, but the fact that they have to be changed every six months and can leak. Leaking would NOT be good for me or my lungs. I still have no sweet spot so the little electronic thing doesn't work for me. It is louder than I am so no one can hear me, even me.

I want to try to read a few blogs tonight before I hit the sack, 4:30 comes pretty early for me these days. I sure hope everyone has been doing well I have missed everyone, I truly have. My blog buddies have been a very big part of my life for a lot of years and this last year has really made me realize how much I have missed them. I still can't believe it is October, this year has truly been a blur to me and I hope that next year is a little more picture perfect.

Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today.~Brightest Blessing~

Worry Brings Nothing Good

Today is Saturday, October 1, 2011. We have had gorgeous just gorgeous weather the last few weeks. Yes, it has been hot, but it has been so pretty. The afternoon showers still show up, but I guess that is why everything has been so pretty and green. The last couple of days, there is Fall in the air, so much that I have been able to open up the house. Looking forward to that very much, love to open up the house.

So much has been happening......I guess that I never really gave it much thought as to how much this junk can change your life and the life of your family. Never realizing that I would be seeing the doctors every two months and sometimes more often. The last visit last week brought me to another first a CT PET Scan. Having just had a CT Scan I didn't understand why another scan. After doing some research I didn't like why I would be have this scan. So yesterday morning this is what I spent the better part of my day doing. We were supposed to have the results yesterday afternoon, however that didn't happen. No news is good news?

Three weeks ago my daughter and her family have moved back home, they have lost their home. Then came son # 5, he is also home. We have went from a household of three to nine. Her husband is out of work and she isn't getting twenty hours a week. We will make the best of this, so making lemonade.

I have always written appointments on the calender, so my daughter wanted to know why I was having another scan if everything was okay with the CT Scan. I don't know baby girl.....I don't know.

What I do know is that this has just torn me apart watching what it is doing to the members of my family. She came home from work last night, sick to her stomach. George has had this look in his eyes like someone has taken all hope from him. Young son has just hovered over me, don't care for that. The older kids calling George to see what happened.

There are things in this life that we have control over and things that we do NOT. This is something that we do not have control over. Turn it over to the universe or your God and move on. Enjoy your day and the things that you are doing the people that you are with. Worrying will not get you anything other than stomach issues and a headache.

She informed me that I was her mother the only one that she will have and started to cry. Yes little girl, I am your mother, (like I didn't know this) would you like me to find you an adoptive mother? "This shits not funny mom!", she informed me. No, no it's not. However, I am NOT going to sit around everyday wondering what if. I am going to continue to do the things that I have always done and continue to enjoy doing them.

She wanted to learn to sew, so sew we will learn. Get busy girl and start ironing that fabric and cutting squares. Busy hands are happy hands. The holidays are fast approaching at a high rate of speed and in order to make handmade items, you had better get really busy now. Can you believe that this is October already? Another year almost gone.......

If you haven't heard, after the first of the year you will no longer be able to buy the light bulbs that we currently are using. So you may want to consider stock piling them. Oh, I know that they are suppose to be "green" and so much cheaper, however when our restaurant when to these "green" bulbs that were suppose to last forever and be so much cheaper, I found out first hand that they do NOT last longer and are very expensive to buy. Not to mention I really dislike the lighting from them. Needless to say I have started my stockpile.

Well I need to get a load of laundry in and get this body dressed. Then on to cutting squares and working on some new book designs. Wishing everyone an awesome weekend, go have some fun!

Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today. ~Brightest Blessing~